Blessing

Well, it is a longest Sunday for my life...woke up at 6am something and don't know what can I do with the damn fucking blank mind. Why woke up at so early I also don't know even after finished house work for 2 stories house and went for 2 hours swim on the day before. Tried to make myself so tired still cannot sleep longer. What happen to me??? It should be a good news and why am I so suffering when know him getting settle down with her???? I was damn cool when he telling me this and don't know why when come to late of night my tears start dropping....

Always telling myself that it is impossible for me and him getting together since they are staying together for so long time already and I'm just accidentally came to his life not even a year. He really a nice man and also same as my dream man. When I know he got girlfriend, I did tell myself don't be people 3rd party and what can I do is be a best friend of him so that can know what happen on his life....happy or not happy....but don't know why, very naturally I start falling in love on him deeply day by day. Still remember that he did ask me can I stay in his heart forever, and I did told him that heart cannot keep 2 person but end up I do slowly wanna stay in his heart forever... But now, very head for me to climb out. Not going to ask for God help cause is me myself to went in and haven't think to wanna climb out already feel that I cannot say "NO" whereby start kicking out by someone else. Am I a loser???? Well, nothing can be change now...just take it easy and will not feel so bad and sad.

Still remember that he told me, the person you really love might not the one you going to marry with...now I understand what he wanna pass the message is asking me don't put too many hope on him. But from the 1st I already understand this statement cause as what I know and understand him is a responsible man and won't hurt his girlfriend easily even his beloved and the most he respect mum who like his girlfriend very much and I believe that his mum also mark the girl as her daughter-in-law and guess even the same as the girl parents.

Maybe I'm just a right person for him who really can talk to and understand his problem not the right person for him to staying with forever???? Now, I can use the statement people always say "If you love the person, not really must be together. Love is wanna see the person you love can always happy and without worries". So not to make him worries about me, will find back my strong spirit and stay as who I am and blase him have a happy and wonderful small family soon....